Born and raised in the heart of Silicon Valley, my career in technology would seem inevitable. My journey hasn't been as straightforward as it may seem, though. Life has always been an uphill battle--from school to friends and family, to work, to relationships, and finally to what is a constant battle with the unseen world. 

​

In 2020, life's uncertainties hit us all hard. As my life would have it, the rug got pulled out from under me, too, even before most of the collective. Not just once... multiple times in a series of unfortunate events... in almost every aspect of my life... ALL at once. 

​

I finished undergrad during the Great Recession. You would think that with a Bachelors in Science in Genetics from a well-reputed university in California, I'd be able to land a decent job eventually. WRONG! For the next three years, I struggled to land a "respectable" job while I watched my peers excel in their jobs, buy homes, get in and out of relationships, have kids, travel, etc. Interview after interview and no luck. Sound familiar? Eventually, my parents insisted I get my Master of Science in Computer Science and Engineering, but I wanted to go to business school. So I studied for both and almost finished a second bachelor's in Computer Science at the community college... AGAINST my will. What other options did I have? NONE. I hit rock bottom. Put on lots of weight. I practically disappeared from the world and could barely force a smile if I did end up face to face with a real human. My relationship with my family was strained more than ever. I suffered from severe undiagnosed depression that very nearly pulled me into the dark side... if you know what I mean, until one day I snapped out of it while writing my "Why MBA?" essay.  I'd like to say my world changed and I never looked back and lived happily ever after, but I can't. 

 

What did happen was doors started opening. I got accepted to the Masters program (darn!)... along with the MBA program (yay!)... oh wait... but the MBA was for working professionals and I didn't quite have a job at the time. So I sucked it up and as soon as I accepted the Masters program, I got a job offer at a company I had interviewed with and got declined from several times before! I had my own office in a swanky corporate building as an Engineer. I was face down for the next two years doing my Masters full time and working full time. It was my ticket out of the hell hole I was stuck in. 

 

This was the start of my "awakening," so they say. I hustled hard and before I knew it, I graduated and landed another job two levels higher and with double the pay and within 8 months moved into a Product Management role that I thought would be my 5-year plan. It WAS my ticket out! Over the next few years, my career really took off. I was doing great at work and landing a promotion almost every year. By 2016 I was managing my own team. 

 

While my career was taking off, I started reflecting a lot on my personal life... as I didn't have one. I did a lot of self-therapy for years of toxic relationship dynamics and confidence crushing experiences. I tried to learn the art of work-life balance. It was finally 2018 and I was ready to spread my wings and fly. So I did. I declined a great offer to move across the country to New York with less pay and a lower title. I also fell in love for the first time... in my 30s... only to have my heart broken... which set me off on another spiral. Like I said... my problems come in multiples. The heartbreak set off what the spiritual world calls "The Dark Night of the Soul"... it is indeed VERY DARK. My new job wasn't all that it was made out to be. The new "friends" I made seemed to disappear, just as quickly as they appeared and I found myself very alone all over again. Only this time, the physical people were also gone. I seemed to have tears fall like an endless water fountain. I would aimlessly walk the streets of New York and walk into any house of God that would allow it and cry some more. I've never intentionally harmed anyone and always tried to do the right thing, so why me?

 

I broke so hard, I needed emotional and moral support and turned to those who you would think to turn to... my family. I told my family of my heartbreak and work problems. Who was to blame? Me, of course! So they decided I was out of control and that I needed to be married off ASAP to the next guy that turns the corner. So now as I tried to put the broken pieces of my heart together by myself again, they initiated the search for Ballori's husband. I met parents and their sons... yes I was born in the US... and now I was dealing with work problems, a broken heart, a pipeline of men with a two-month marriage deadline, and constant anxiety attacks until I found my voice to stand up and say "no." This only strained my relationship with my family even more and ended the sitcom my coworkers were enjoying from the sidelines. 

After about a year and a half of looking, I found myself in a new job. This was it! It was the title, the pay, the things I loved doing. I was balancing it out with travel and socializing and dance and taking care of myself. I was even looking to buy my first home... but there was a void. A few months in, something was just not right and BOOM! There it was first thing in 2020! My body seems to have this innate ability to KNOW things these days and starts rejecting anything that doesn't align with me vibrationally. 

 

Soon after, the rest of the world joined me for the showdown. Interestingly enough, I was taking this all really well. I had several panicked and depressed friends call me for therapy sessions that ended up lasting close to four hours sometimes. I took the time to take classes, volunteer, and even create a music video remotely! After a little over a year, I found my new role. It would be a lie if I said I didn't have a few tough days here and there, but for the most part, I felt the emotions and moved it along. Exactly a year later, the company started mass layoffs and I got caught in the middle of it... again.

​

Between the sense of void and not being excited about dealing with corporate bureaucracy and it making me physically sick, I figured it was time to start exploring other things I enjoyed. After all, I am m a survivor. I am resilient. I am a hustler. And I am unstoppable. I've been called a "bulldog" in the most endearing way by my boss. I'm a problem solver. I've literally helped other people find jobs during the pandemic! And that was it!

​

I never had much support or guidance in my own life, and it only made things so much harder. After years of self-healing my traumas and working through my stories, my relationship with my family is everything I ever wanted and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

 

My journey home is still in progress, but join me if you need help to find your way on your Journey Home.